Friday, February 26, 2010

A real conversation I had tonight

This is a real conversation I had tonight. I am textbasedadvent and T-Steady is kirijini. (Edited for hilarity... to me... shut up, this is free.)

[GHTS] kirijini: yo. I am up for games. and gaming. and gamaraderie.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: gamaraderie... wow, I really like that word
[GHTS] kirijini: vodka = inspiration
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Ernest Hemmingway's most well known quote
[GHTS] kirijini: really? I coulda swore it had something to do with sharks.
[GHTS] kirijini: or wait - maybe it was "don't electrocute me"
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: well the whole quote goes, "vodka = inspiration... but don't try to fuck a shark"
[GHTS] kirijini: that makes me want to start a distillery with a line of vodka called... shark vodka.
[GHTS] kirijini: or, fucking sharks.
[GHTS] kirijini: Fucking Sharks Vodka.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: I think one might lead to the other
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: but both ways
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: like the shark might go if you're lucky
[GHTS] kirijini: have you ever looked at a shark and thought "not enough ass"?
[GHTS] kirijini: hemingway did. because he's a real man. and a drunk.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Yes, but as a real man, Hemmingway went for it anyway.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Then he wrote Old Man and The Sea.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: The secret to understanding that novella is knowing the fish was a metaphor for his dick.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: And the sharks eating the fish was a metaphor for his sexual realtionship with sharks.

Here's another part of that conversation:

[GHTS] kirijini: birds don't have tails, so why is it (the backside of a quarter) called tails?
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Actually, I know this.
[GHTS] kirijini: uh-oh
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Back when the quarter was first invented, Ben Franklin suggested that the National Cat, the Tanzanian Puma, be put on the back of the fledgling coin.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: But this, like most of Franklin's suggestions, was ignored. Firstly because there is no such animal.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Secondly, because Franklin did enough snuff to make Keith Richards go blind.
[GHTS] kirijini: my bullshitometer is going berserk
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: You doubt that Franklin did more drugs than Keith Richards?
[GHTS] kirijini: yes.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Surely Richards had access to greater variety, but in pure amounts Franklin reigns supreme.
[GHTS] kirijini: ben franklin invented bifocals. keith richards was in the rolling stones.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Do you know how much pussy inventers got back then?
[GHTS] kirijini: did you know that ben franklin wore a suit made out of beavers when he was ambassador to france?
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: It was to show just how much beaver he was inside of during his time over there.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: He added a new pelt with each time he had a new lady.
[GHTS] kirijini: i got the terrible mental image of him "scalping" his ladies' nether parts.
[GHTS] textbasedadvent: Got to the point the man couldn't walk down the street without tripping.

1 comment:

  1. You know, even though I'm the one who posted this, I feel just a tad ashamed of what this exposes concerning the inner workings of my mind.