Sunday, December 20, 2009
Live blog of my impressions from Avatar in IMAX 3D... posted 16 or so hours later. SPOILER CODE RED!
10:30 pm: 5 minutes before start of Avatar and I've already heard my first racial slur. This movie is going to be awesome! ;D
(Next day note: The person who uttered it sat behind us and was commenting on how upscale the snack bar was as he said, "They even have fresh baked kikes!" This was followed by some awkward stuttering then finally, "I mean they have fresh baked cakes and pies." The slip was accidental, yet hilariously Freudian. Sean's and my muffled laughter displayed how we are at the height of maturity.)
10:38: Disappointed by Alice and Wonderland trailer. Only 2 3d gags? Tim Burton, you owe us more than that.
10:40: IMAX has convinced me to think big
10:43: protagonist's name is sunshine
(Next Day Note: His name is actually Jake Sully, but fuck that, his name is Sunshine.)
10:46: Movie claims that the economy is still bad, Obama to blame?
10:50: see first naked blue cat person, not aroused. James Cameron has failed me.
Sunshine is doing science
10:52: holy shit! The 3d subtitles seem so real!
10:54: we're here for "unobtainium"
(Next day note: Idea for DVD extended edition: After uttering the word "unobtainium," the whole room bursts into uncontrollable laughter. Wiping tears from their eyes, someone says, "What? We already harvest all the "space oil"?)
11:00. Inspirational avatar scene about running reminds me to work out tomorrow
11:01: hey it's the sassy lady from resident evil
colonial scar turtle is sufficiently stereotypical
11:05 I recognize helicopter things from Terminator. Same continuity?
11:08 plants are pretty
11:12: action sequence is so blurry I think I need glasses for my 3d glasses
how did sunshine know that was flammable?
11:17: blue cat lady kills space hyenas, now I'm aroused.
11:22: glowing jelly fish seeds eat sunshine, movie continues anyway
haha sunshine fell, hilarious!
Only took 45 minutes for Native American style whoops, movie shows admirable restraint
11:28: training time! Cue montage and eye of the tiger
11:30. Notice all the racist words wormy business guy is using? That's how you know he's an evil capitalist.
(Next day note: Seriously, this guy all but pulls out a "Free Trade, Malevolence, & You" phrase book and just goes wild. He stops just short of mentioning Manifest Destiny, but the viewer gets the idea. He would be hate worthy if he weren't such an obvious strawman).
11:36: lulz super altruistic scientists and flux vortex
hey movie, final fantasy wants its mountains back
11:43: prediction: sunshine will no longer see this as tree hugger crap, will use failed leaf falling technique to save hot blue lady
11:54: sunshine tames kite dragon, level up
11:56: oh no! Feral hot rod kite dragon!
11:58: prediction: sunshine will ride hot rod kite dragon, Sean predicts the planet will hit an iceburg
12:00 am: colonial scar turtle keeps empty promise for dastardly double agent deeds, threatens world tree, seems really disappointed that he can't shoot it from here
12:05: predictable, obligatory love scene leaves me super aroused
Breakfast metaphorically linked to man's expansionist evil?
12:09: Scene where video is scaled up, enhanced at 1.5 hr in, movie shows incredible restraint!
12:12: damn you evil col. scar turtle
12:14: if only the Native Americans had religious beliefs that were scientifically verifiable as opposed to simply "paganistic savagery", wait still doesn't matter to wormy business guy
12:18: tying knots around traitors wrists is a big deal to the navi
12:22: Cynacism doesn't save me from hating the military during falling action
12:29: the end... Wait no
(Next Day Note: In the Rawson Marshall Thurber Director's cut version, the movie ends with all the fiery death and destruction, Sully's name is still, well, sullied, and Colonial Scar Turtle is victorious.)
12:30: security taking a nap, mutiny goes unpunished sometimes?
(Next Day Note: Why is the person who deliberately left the field claiming, "Screw it, I didn't sign up for this" not only allowed to walk around apparently repercussion free but given a chance to get near the prisoners who are her friends and whose point of view she obviously agrees with?)
Scar turtle a terrible shot... Wait
Segourny Weaver is incredibly understanding of alien life forms considering her past experiences.
12:35: sunshine is going to, unironically, take it to the next level! attacks hot rod kite dragon, called it
12:38: huge displays of ultra man hood always make everything ok
(Next Day Note: especially duplicity that leads to one's father's death and the forced exodus of an entire people)
12:43: sad nature matrix fail... Or is it?
12:44: but they cannot take our freeedooom!
12:51: scar turtle death march
1:02: Aiewa HAS heard you, and has responded at the dramatically appropriate time!
(Next Day Note: You know, after enough of your friends have died.)
1:06: over the top awesome is happening detail later
(Next Day Note: Running along giant bombers chucking grenades into their engine intakes, hammer head rhinos, kite dragons, and giant peacock panthers killing many people and robots, and Col. Scar Turtle jumping from an exploding sky turtle/dreadnought in a robot suit. Destruction porn at it's finest! Eat your heart out Michael Bay. Also, Sunshine does use the leaf falling technique to save himself from falling to his death, so I only half called that one).
1:08: why does the giant robot need a knife?
And that's where my log ends. Spoiler alert: good guys win, white guilt fantasy fully realized, James Cameron is shown to be revolutionary when it comes to hyping a movie. Now I'm not saying the movie is bad or good at least not yet. A fuller review must be left for a soon to come update.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
While perusing comics, and then later beers, I ran into a very cool indie comic auteur named Chandra Free. She told me about her work and regaled me with an amusing anecdote where she hijacked Zachary Quinto's comic panel at a convention. After she piqued my interest I later went to her website, the one I have linked here, and have to say I am impressed.
Along with a fairly stunning gallery of her works (specific nerd props for the Venture Bros section and the chibi, whiskey swilling Iron-Man), she has posted an 8-page preview of her soon (hopefully) to be published opus The God Machine on her website. The story revolves around a boy named Guy Salvatore, whose name conjures images of trench coats and "good cities gone bad." He is not however a film noir style detective (at least not yet), instead he is a teen who is depressed over the loss of his girlfriend Sith, which I assume is her name and not an indication of which side of the Force she chose. Coinciding with his loss and depression he's been witnessing an increasing number of reality-challenging oddities. Either this means his depression is presenting with psychotic features or something else is going down. Whether it's psychosis or an ethereal realm reaching out to make a connection, Guy is along for the ride whether he likes it or not. I could tell you more about the plot, but you should really just check it out for yourselves.
From what I can tell, TGM is fairly reminiscent in style and tone of seminal goth comics author (though he would likely balk at that description) Jhonen Vasquez, what with its lithe, angular main character and sardonic surrealist trappings. These trappings include a maniacal goth-children's show puppet urging the audience to commit suicide and tiny stream of consciousness 4th wall breaking asides like a dropped tooth brush exclaiming, "I'm free! =)"
That being said I can tell, mostly because Chandra told me, that there is a lot more story going on in TGM than this initial offering displays. Much like if you were to take a sumptuous banquet with myriad foreign delights, hide it behind a curtain, and then tempt a potential dinner guest with a tiny shrimp cocktail. Certainly the joys of consuming shrimp are familiar, if perhaps infrequent, so partaking is a reassurance. Appetite whet, one might begin to wonder what that delicious aroma coming from behind the curtain might be. Apologies to my friends who keep Vedge. Depending on how TGM turns out, which I hope will be well, it its possible that one day we might be referring to Jhonen Vasquez as a proto-Chandra Free.
I highly encourage taking some time and visiting Chandra’s site and preordering The God Machine preview. Even if the goth-style thing isn’t your bag, what’s the worst that could happen? You could support a talented and very nice person? You might discover the super sexy world of indie comics? You could possibly enjoy something in your life? Heaven forbid you should ever do that! We all know that enjoying anything is a sin and you should be ashamed for even entertaining the notion. Sinner.
In other news, I am working on a new short story for the ole’ Textbasedadvent here. It’s a comedic/political satire/horror story set in a not to distant future. I’m pretty excited about it so I’ll give everyone a quick preview:
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, February 03, 2005
What does "quixotic" mean?(I hate my shower)
I wasn't listening to music before I saw the Currently: Playing (Music) but then it occurred to me to start listening to iTunes.
PS:I originally wrote this as a myspace post, which I think means Tom and Rupert Murdoch own a tiny little piece of my soul. Good luck to whom ever has to deal with this demon shower now. Happy new year NCF, the first since 2003 that I will be with out you.
An original post will be up sometime soon. It is about Final Destination and how whichever version of Death is at work in that universe needs to be fired.